Surrender and Self Love

Growth is a painful process. Lately, I have been going through a lot of painful lessons. One of them being the awareness of relationships that I allow into my life. Without doing the inner work, I sometimes fall off the bandwagon.

Having recently completed my first yoga retreat in Savusavu, a beautiful part of the second biggest island in Fiji, Vanua Levu I could say that my professional life is turning out to be good because I am pushing my boundaries, stepping outside my comfort zone. At the same time, my private life has not been too good. I found that the moment I started doubting myself, my abilities as a yoga teacher and woman, was the moment that I let my guard down leading me to being vulnerable. Don’t get me wrong. Vulnerability is important to attract relationships and opportunities for growth. However, I probably showed a side that was the saviour type and ended up using all my energy to save.

Here are some lessons I learnt through my own self doubts and lack of self love:

  1. I don’t need anyone to complete me nor make me happy. Happiness is an inside job.
  2. The moment I start to doubt my own capabilities and talents, is the moment I allow others to control me and tell me exactly what I am feeling. That is, my own inner demons manifest into reality, becoming a person that says “You’re not good enough”.
  3. When I am on the verge of reaching a new level of change in my career, distractions in the form of relationships can appear, distracting me from moving ahead with energy.
  4. My time is precious and how I spend each day/moment will determine my overall life’s experience.
  5. Doing my daily meditations/yoga/self affirmations are the fuel to start my day, to allow my day to have vibrancy and vigour.
  6. Self love is a continuous journey. It is not the selfish type of “I love myself” but rather, doing things that reflect my own inner love like daily yoga. Eating the right food and also speaking to myself in a loving and gentle way, to talk to myself how a lover may talk, that is a lover who puts my needs first.

The moment I surrendered myself completely to the universe is when opportunities presented themselves to me. Affirmation for today: “I allow myself to feel playful and free”. Thank you universe for showing me the hard lessons. This is for my highest and greatest good. And so it is!

Teaching my first yoga retreat this month, 9-14 July at Daku Resort, Savusavu, Fiji Islands. I am in Ardha Matsyendrasana Asana. — at Savusavu, Fiji Islands.

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